Can someone out there help me PLEASE? MY man is a drunken meth cook that has Broken my bones et left me c-NHL

Stage 3 to die with alone! He was charged with domestic ault on 08-24-2007 after nearly 30 yrs of being together! I am an orphan with a sis in CA et a sis in Cedar Falls, but that f-er turned 2 of my 3 sons against me by his drunken/drugged mind that I WAS THE 1 WITH THE PX! I see 0 lite, 7 would rather be dead than to be homeless, jobless, dying, et grieving 4 our GOOD YRS, et 4 my sons! Please help me 2 find the Strength 2 keep getting up each day! His name is 'RED' or Dennis J. Conrad from Brandon, Iowa et was raised by a drunken, child molesting father, et a mother that did not PROTECT her babes! My man's best friend served time 4 raping a mentally challenged female, et his other best friend turned on me as he's "scared shitless" I'll tell his wife Judy that he smokes pot with my man! BFD! What a puss! My man was great til he learned 2 cook meth with his friend, 'BUD' & that's when the physical abuse 1st began! I cannot keep up this fight without support & he's taken it