What just happened to me?

I just sat on the toilet and my *** erupted like a volcano spewing a brown and chunky substance which was borderline liquid and solid. The noise echoed off the oval shaped bowl and was sucked in by the rippling water for the eruption was so intense the substance traveled faster than sound. Oddly by some evasion of the law of physics the substance was absorbed by the sound waves carrying it upwards as the splashing brown toilet water bounced the sound, and its brown, chunky penger right back into my rectum